“A Father’s Mothers’ Day”

"A FATHER'S MOTHERS' DAY"

a message by Rev. Dr. Bruce Havens

Coral Isles Church, U.C.C.

June 15, 2025

JOHN 14:15-21  NRSV

15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever.  17 This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you.

18 “I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you.  19 In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.  21 They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me, and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.”

Fathers’ Day?  So what, you might say.  Back when such things may have mattered more it was the holiday with the least number of long-distance calls and the lowest sale of Hallmark Cards. So permit me to do this. Let me share a secret. I had great plans for a Mother’s Day sermon until my appendix intervened, and I hate to waste a great sermon plan.  Now here’s the secret part – I was going to basically replay my sermon from two years ago on Mothers’ Day.  I had two reasons: it was a really good sermon – in my humble opinion – and I figured, let’s be honest, most of y’all won’t remember much of today’s sermon later today, let alone one from two years ago!  No slam intended, y’all, just keeping things real.  Here’s the bottom line – I decided I would do my Mothers’ Day sermon for Father’s Day.  Ergo the title: “A Father’s Mothers’ Day.”  This isn’t a slam at fathers either.  My hope is that what I say is equally meaningful for those who celebrate this day and those who may not.

Now if I haven’t completely lost you already with the world’s longest sermon introduction, let me try to regain some momentum here.  John’s Gospel shares a beautiful promise from Jesus this morning.  Really, several promises.  Let me add as a preface to this morning’s reading really was back in Chapter 13:34, in which Jesus says: “a new commandment I give you: love one another.” 

This morning we hear Jesus say, “if you love me you will keep my commandments.”  Then he adds this promise: “and I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you forever.”  Of course he is talking about what we call the Holy Spirit.  Jesus says this Spirit will be our advocate.  An advocate actively supports and promotes the interests of another person, group, or cause. Lawyers are called “advocates” for their clients.  So the first promise Jesus makes is that when we love one another we unleash an advocate – a spiritual advocate – who will be with us, support, and encourage us. 

The second part of the promise is that this Spirit Advocate, will be a Spirit of Truth.  Boy, do we need that right now. The degree to which falsehoods have become more powerful than truth in our culture today is frightening because the result has been a lot of hate, fear, and anger.  You hear me mention these three attitudes almost every week. I do so because they have torn apart our sense of community, common concerns, and a willingness to work together almost worse than slavery did in the 1860’s.  Jesus says God gives those who love one another a Holy Spirit of truth.  Please, sir, can I have some more of that?

The third part of the promise is summed up when Jesus says if we keep his commandment to love one another we are loving him.  In other words, to love others is to love Jesus.  And if we show the love of Jesus to others, he promises we will be loved by God, and by Christ and he will in fact reveal himself to us.  I’ll tie it in with today’s holiday by saying, those promises remind me that love is what makes a father or a mother worth honoring with a holiday.

Two years ago on Mothers’ Day I shared this thought that inspires my love.  I had asked “My local “in-house expert” to comment on what she thinks is important about ‘mothering’ in a way that fits this part of the Scripture.  Tammy said her mother, who entered into Life Everlasting just awhile ago, never tried to control her or tell her what to do or think, but she was always there and always willing to help if asked.  For example, her parents came and stayed with us for months after two of our children were born sacrificing their retirement years to help us as Tammy went back to work.  Tammy also talked about how she believed in assuring our children she is always there for them.  She echoes these words of Jesus.  “I will not leave you… I will come to you….”  I think to whatever degree God is a Mothering God, we can see this love of God coming from many people in our lives, and hopefully others can see it in us. I believe in the power of God’s love to transform us and indeed all things.

So, now humor me and let me add this from a couple of years ago as well:

We seem to be obsessed with fear and hatred and magnify it and its power so easily.  I believe that love is much more powerful.  I promise that if we magnify love in our lives it will return to us more than my limited mathematical abilities can even describe.  For me, I know that as a father, my children have taught me more about love than I can ever describe in a hundred sermons.  Knowing that, and believing in the power of that love of God, [two years ago] I asked our daughter Caroline to share her thoughts on being a first time mommy.  Here’s what she wrote:

“When my dad asked me to write up something about my first Mother’s Day, I was excited. I believe most new moms are fervently waiting for any opportunity to talk about their baby and the changes that come with being a new mom, and I am certainly no exception.

“My lovely little River has expanded my world in such a beautiful way, I am grateful every day. My experience as a new mom has been wonderful. Everything with my son feels simultaneously brand new and the way things were always meant to be. I have certainly faced challenges … and when our son was one month old, my husband had shoulder surgery which meant he couldn’t do much with the newborn while I was on the last month of my maternity leave. However, I was able to get through those hurdles due to the support I have in my life both from loved ones and my employer.

“As Mother’s Day approaches, the specific challenges too many women in America needlessly face have also been on my mind. The Guardian reports that ‘one in four women go back to work within two weeks of childbirth.’ At two weeks both my newborn and I were in diapers, crying frequently, and having trouble sleeping. I cannot imagine being forced to return to work so soon after giving birth.

“I think that this is also an important time to emphasize that motherhood should be reserved for those who choose it. I celebrate the people in my life who have chosen to become mothers just as much as those who have decided against it. With the repeal of Roe v. Wade, our country enters a dangerous era of forcing motherhood on the unwilling, unprepared, and unsupported. Motherhood has been exciting, and I appreciate this day of celebration. However, if we are going to be a nation that sets aside this whole day to honor mothers, we need to keep motherhood a choice for those excited to welcome new children into this world and support those who choose it with the appropriate amount of time for recovering from the trauma of childbirth.”

See, I love that.  That is so perfectly said and so perfectly our daughter.  She is always committed to speaking her truth and her truth always includes her deep concern for the social justice based in God’s love that our Bible and our God demands.

Finally, let me end this “Father’s Mothers’ Day” sermon by saying, perhaps love, or even the memory of love sometime in our lives will begin to transform us and our world. And Happy Fathers’ Day to all you dads out there.  AMEN.